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And for those with adolescents and teens in Behavior Modification or Boarding Schools

A Parent Coordinator is an impartial third party available to assist parents in resolving issues relating to parenting and other family issues prior to their child moving on to their next program or school after wilderness, or prior to graduation or returning home from their residential program. The assist with:

Clarifying priorities prior to returning home or moving on to their next program or school

Developing a parenting plan that meets the needs of the child and the parents

Exploring possibilities for problem solving

Developing methods of collaboration in parenting

Identifying disputed issues

Reducing misunderstandings

This situation is different than when we are Parenting Coordinator’s assigned by the court. In this situation the goal is not to modify any order, judgment or decree of the court. At times parents decide to divorce just prior to, or while their child is attending their residential treatment program or school. One way to help children through this early stage is have the assistance of a Parenting Coordinator to openly discuss what is happening in the family. In some cases, it makes more sense for children to hear about the decision to separate from both parents who have additional support. If this is the case, the Parent Coordinator makes sure that they works with your child’s therapist. They repeatedly tell your child that both parents will always love them and that you will always be a family. The difference will be that when they return there will be two households. This is where a Parenting Plan can assist.

The Parenting Plan addresses any concerns the child may have like the need to maintain a relationship with both parents. It is very important that your children understand their relationship with both parents is forever and that they will never be abandoned. The Parent Coordinator can help explain that a divorce does not end your child’s relationship with either parent. The marriage may end, however, the parent-child relationship will continue Generally, for a child in a youth program or boarding school, short, clear explanations are best. Remember they do not have to understand everything all at once.

Their understanding of your divorce will evolve as they get older and will change with their age. It is also a benefit that we will be able to work with their therapist in their behavior modification program or boarding school which means they will receive additional support. Another important message for kids to hear is that in no way is the divorce their fault, nor are they able to keep you together. When the idea of parents separating is completely new to your child, reinforce to them that you will make every effort to keep things stable for them. At the same time, let them know about upcoming changes. Remember children will ask the same questions repeatedly. This is normal and is their way of gaining a sense of security and reassurance about the future. It is important to keep your answers simple and consistent.

It is very important that both parents reinforce that the separation/divorce is taking place because of differences between the parents. Working with your child’s therapist in their program helps you conduct such conversations without damaging or disparaging remarks about the other parent. Children adjust more easily when parents show a healthy sense of respect and caring for the other parent despite difficult circumstances. Co-parenting responsibilities apply to all parents whether they are married or divorced.

The extent that parents can effectively co-parent their children greatly determines how children will adjust after returning home from their emotional growth program or school. Parents who have a child returning home after graduation or completion of their program will now have to start dealing with more day-to-day issues concerning their child’s welfare. Decisions, like those concerning religion, discipline, finances, morality, recreation, physical health, education and emergencies need to be discussed prior to their coming home. These decisions need to be discussed and made jointly. Remember that married parents often have differing ideas about all or some of these issues. This is to be expected. There is no reason to assume that divorced parents should always agree on them either. What’s important is how you deal with differences, not that they exist. It is better for parents to agree to disagree and practice compromising than to argue and fight endlessly for their own way. This, however, is often easier said than done.

Parents who chose their battles and cooperate when there are differences are more likely to make healthy decisions for their children. In fact, nurturing an overall spirit of cooperation is more important than parents agreeing on any one particular issue. Also, parents who acknowledge and effectively deal with their own difficult feelings usually have an easier time. On the other hand, recurrent arguments between parents make life difficult for children and parents alike. When parents fight for their own agenda and neglect creating a peaceful environment, their children may develop bitter feelings and have difficulties later in life with their own intimate relationships. Remembering to relate maturely and with a healthy sense of respect for the other parent (even in the face of great differences and in some cases bad feelings) is the challenge for every parent. Fostering such an environment teaches children much about love, life, change, and family relationships. Being in a family style program or outdoor school brings about many changes in the lives of both parents and children. One change for children may be in their immediate support network. This might mean a loss of friendships and school ties. Some parents move to a new community before their child returns home. This move might also include changing relationships with extended family members. To minimize stress on your children and ultimately yourself, work to keep your lifestyle close to what it was prior to your child being in their residential program or school.

When possible, keep friends, family, school, and other community support systems stable. When changes are necessary, make sure you give your children ample notice about them and discuss them with your child’s therapist while still in their program. The more comfortable parents are with such changes the more comfortable their children will be. In the days just after your child returns home from their youth program, or wilderness program there is usually an adjustment period that can last for several weeks and oftentimes several months. During this time, people are adjusting to new routines, schedules, and living situations. It may take time for life to seem normal again. Don’t worry, eventually it will. Some kids are open about their feelings and the associated changes they experience. Others will be less vocal.

Make room for whatever your children are experiencing. It is a mistake to believe kids must talk about their feelings. Sample Checklist for a stable home environment after your child returns home from their program:

Avoid too frequent changeovers between homes if this is a two household family.

Be nurturing, supportive, and available.

Create routines and schedules.

Develop a firm parenting schedule that provides frequent and regular contact with the nonresident parent.

Do not burden children with adult responsibilities.

Do not rely on children to be your confidants or companions.

End parental conflict, at least within the child’s earshot.

Provide clear rules and limits and be consistent

Support children’s relationships with their other parent and that parent’s extended family.

Seek out other sources of social support for your children.

A well-thought-out and executed parenting plan is an important tool for ensuring the health and well being of your children. A good parenting plan will outline how you will perform co-parenting responsibilities.

It also details how you will handle activities of daily living and caring for your kids. The parenting plan is a living document that must evolve with the needs of your growing children. Therefore, you do not have to include every potential situation you may encounter in the parenting plan. However, it must be revisited regularly to make sure it meets the needs of your family. Children are our most precious resource.

We must protect them from undue hurt and turmoil.

Dore E. Frances, Child Right’s Advocate, Educational Consultant & Parent Coordinator
Horizon Family Solutions, LLC
Email: dore@dorefrances.com
Phone: (541) 312-4422
Fax: (541) 312-4420
Web: http://www.guidingteens.com

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Dieting Tips Online – Online Diet Plans

Everyone Needs Advice

No matter what you do in life you will usually look for help. You will read some instructions, a book, look up or research and even ask some body questions. Everything we do is built off the experiences of others. Someone somewhere has done this before and we want to be sure that we don’t have to make the same mistakes they did. We like to think we can figure things out for ourselves when we really are just finding out something that has already been accomplished. Future generations will do the same, learning from us the right and wrong ways to do things. Losing some weight is no different. You need to do the research to find others who have had the same problems and were able to solve them. Learn how they “did it” and use their advice to do the same for yourself.

Why Look Online

The Internet is like a huge library. Just about anything you can think of can be found there. It has the added feature of real time communication with others experiencing the same concerns. There is nothing quite like it. Search engines are like tireless librarians, ask them a question and they will go fetch you the information and bring it back on a forklift so to speak.

Dieting tips online are every were. Millions of people on the net are interested in dieting and so answers are there also. “Dieting tips online” brings back 4,380,000 results alone just to emphasize the power of the Internet.

What You Will Find

You will find all kinds of dieting tips online. Literally thousands of them. Now comes the real work. You will need to sort them out to find the ones usable by you. It helps to be prepared ahead of time with your basic requirements in mind so you have an easier time narrowing things down. Your age, gender, overall health, weight loss goals are just a few items to remember when looking. You are deciding on tips or a plan that will work under these circumstances. A plan tailor made to fit you. It is good to to make your goals or requirements to complicated. Getting a healthy body should be your ultimate goal, not trying to look like some super model or famous actor.

What Comes Next

After locating the information you need you will have to implement your research. Take action. You will not be able to benefit from this information unless you do. This holds true across the board whether you located some online dieting tips, joined a weight loss group or purchased an online diet plan. Put these new ideas to work and stick to it. Plan your work then work your plan. As you start seeing results you will be further motivated to continue.

Conclusion:

Dieting tips online can be found and will work if you find the ones that fit and you implement them. Millions have gone before you to lose weight and keep it off by following the advice of an online diet plan of some kind. You will shed those unwanted pounds if you take action.